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Bach Bash! (Ep2 Recap)

It’s time to do a little Bachelor Bashing! Let’s go over this week’s episode of #TheBachelorette.

Let me just begin by saying that some of these guys appear to be stuck in the sixth grade. Okay, WHAT IS UP with shorty boy Alex? I’m thinking he has Napoleon complex and some serious inferiority issues. What is it to him whether Chad is waiting outside and waits for JoJo? What is the DRAMA!

These guys act like this is a fraternity and they all need to share details about their experience with Joelle. It’s so creepy how they act. That poor girl must be cringing looking back at all these episodes and watching them “be”. OH, AND FOR THE RECORD— I’M STILL TEAM CHAD. This society apparently forgot what a real man should act like. In the words of Brad Paisley:

“These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy.”

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I can’t believe she’s kept all these creepy dudes around, still. Can we talk about KIP Russell (aka EVAN the freak)? I’m going to call him KIP RUSSELL. Because he now reminds me of both Russell from True Blood & Kip, Napoleon Dynamite’s brother.

BACHELOR’S THROWING SHADE

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Oh, and then there’s Andi Dorfman I see you girl.

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She doesn’t seem to learn her lesson about the “bad boys”.

Here are my predictions for next week’s elimination:

Is it me, or do you also feel like she’s keeping music man around because she feels bad? She looks at him like he’s a sad puppy you just adopted. I feel bad for him. He’s going to fall hard and he’s going to get the boot. I also think that she is really fighting off feelings for Chad. Looks like she’s taking the advice of the girls before the show began and she’s not giving “much attention” to the guy she has the most feelings for. She is letting him WORKKKK.

Anyway, I’m calling it now— none of these guys are compatible with JoJo. Whoever she picks at the end is going to be another Josh Murray/Andi Dorfman situation. Not going to last. #justsaying #BOYBYE

 

 

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Be Our Guest!

One of my favorite Broadway musicals of all time returns to The Broward Center for the Performing Arts for one week only! This is one performance you won’t want to miss! Sing along to all of your favorite tunes and reunite with Lumiere, Cogsworth, Belle, Beast, Mrs. Potts, Chip & many others on this enchanting Disney classic!

This award-winning, worldwide smash hit will be filling our (not-so-very-provincial) town with joy and magic from June 15th through the 19th. For more information, visit BrowardCenter.org.

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The Bachelorette is BACK!

Our favorite girl is back on TV and we couldn’t be more excited! When last season’s final episode of The Bachelor aired, I was more than disappointed, but at the same token, I was hopeful. Even though I really believe Ben is a wonderful man and I was absolutely rooting for JoJo to win his heart, a part of me still felt like she liked the more ‘rugged/rough’ type. So when he chose Lauren, of course, I was upset because “HOW COULD HE EVER?” Anyway, I figured JoJo would be the next Bachelorette— actually, there was really no doubt in my mind. She was such a crowd favorite! Plus, her mother absolutely stole America’s heart while downing down that champagne bottle. Classic!

Before the show began, I was so excited for JoJo because I figured the Producers, who obviously love her so much, must have chosen an incredible group of guys for her. But, I was deeply, deeply disappointed. What the hell kind of group was that last night? I find it really sad that for the sake of gaining rapid ratings, they bring in a bunch of losers who just want media attention. Come on people! This JoJo we are talking about here! tsk. tsk.

Let’s RECAP.

In true Olivia fashion, we’ll be judgy and go all Regina George on these fellas. So, as per usual, we will group them in different categories. Let’s begin…

 

THE CREEPERS

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Evan | 33 | Erectile Dysfunction Expert | 5’11

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Oh hey, I’m getting flashbacks of Russell from True Blood right now. This guy just gives me the creeps. Can we talk about how he went from being a Pastor to a penis doctor? LOL. Oh, and let’s not even go over his bio questions. I can’t even.

This guy is what nightmares are made of. Anyway, moving on…

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Luke | 31 | War Vet | 6’1

Can we just take a pair of clippers and shave off that awful hairstyle all these guys are flaunting this season? It’s like the signature ‘douchebag’ look and I CANNOT stand it. So Luke is from Texas and says he’s all country and wants to be the new Prince farming, but sorry— country men don’t wear tight ass pants with an overload of gel in your mane. At least she got a pair of fabulous cowboy boots out of it. Sit down, faux-farmer. NEXT!!!

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He looks like a younger, more “feminine” version of Tom Cruise

 

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Vinny |28 | Barber | 6’0

He lost me at Vinny. Period. Well, to be perfectly honest, he never sparked my interest in the first place. He looked like the type that would get plastered on night 1. Sure enough, my senses were on point. Hopefully he can give these ‘equivocados’ a haircut before he leaves. Bye Vinny.

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Brandon | 28 | hipster | 6’4 —ELIMINATED (Ep 2)

He put hipster as his job title. Enough said.

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Daniel | 31 | Male Model | 6’1

 

Dammmmmm Daniel, you SUCK. #ByeDaniel

THE CHAD

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Chad | 28 | Luxury Real Estate Agent | 6’2

I had to put Chad in his own category because, he was my favorite, even though he’s apparently the group villain. Yes, he’s trouble and he has a temper but so what? He looks like the type that can fix his own truck and change his oil, unlike these Hybrid-driving looking hippies of a bunch. #sorrynotsorry #teamBeard

On a more sour note, his bio is absolutely depressing. Please stop quoting Matthew McConaughey — three times is far too many. You tried to be cool and suave, but you kind of came out looking obnoxious in that bio. It was not cute nor funny.

Anyway, Chad is also in my top list of Potential Contenders. I do believe he will get far in the game. He knows how to play it well. Except for these fights he gets into. Not smart man!

THE IRRELEVANT’S 

Let’s talk about the ones we forgot already… 

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Chase | 27 | Real Estate Consultant | 6’2 —ELIMINATED (ep 1)

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James F. | 34 |Boxing Club Owner | 6’2

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Jonathan | 29 | Technical Sales Rep | 6’1 —ELIMINATED (ep 1)

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Sal | 28 | Operations Manager | 6’2 —ELIMINATED (ep 1)

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Chase | 27 | Medical Sales Rep | 6’3

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Jake | 27 | Landscape Architect | 6’1 —ELIMINATED (ep 1)

THE GEEK SQUAD

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Peter | 26 | Staffing Agency Manager | 5’11 —ELIMINATED

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Will | 28 | Civil Engineer | 6’2 (1/2) —ELIMINATED (Ep 2)

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James Taylor | 29 | Singer-Songwriter | 6’2

This guy and his guitar. What a sweetie pie! He is such a nice guy. I’m so sad because I know he’s going to be heartbroken. But heartbreak makes for great music— look at Adele & Taylor Swift. Go JT!

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Nick S. | 26 | Software Salesman | 6’1 –ELIMINATED

He’s actually wearing a neck bandana. Poor thing. This isn’t 1995. I’m surprised to see this choice of outfit, seeing as he dressed so sharp in his video. Anyway, he has a striking resemblance to Chris Hemsworth. Definitely not in this picture, but certainly on the show and in the group shot.

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Top right corner (2nd guy going left) — grey suite

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Totally Hems-worthy!

 

QUESTIONABLE MEN

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James S. | 27 | Bachelor Superfan | 6’1 —ELIMINATED (Ep 2)

You know, sometimes you wonder if some of these guys are here for the girl or for the guys? James S is no exception to this theory. First of all, you call yourself a bachelor superfan, yet you have no idea who the first Bachelor was? Sit down. It’s like saying you’re a Britney Spears fanatic but you don’t know what kind of reptile she danced around onstage with while singing ‘I’m a slave for you’. You’re a fake and I’m pretty convinced you like men. #LetsBeFriends

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Robby | 27 | Former Competitive Swimmer | 6’1

Does he not remind you of a blonder, more polished version of Russell Brand? I totally see it. Anyway, he’s kind of a creeper and he was totally drunk. Plus, he looks like he would date my gay bff. #GetItRobby

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THE POTENTIALS

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Jordan | 27 | Former Pro Quarterback | 6’2

I don’t know how I feel about Jordan. It’s like watching Shawn B all over again (from Kaitlyn’s season)— and he was never really my favorite. However, I’m pretty positive he’s the guy that is making it to the final round.

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JoJo & Jordan forever.

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Christian | 26 | Telecom Consultant | 5’11

I’m totally Team Christian! I really think he’s one of the good guys! I don’t think he’ll get to the final round or anywhere near it, but he’ll be around for a bit and I’m so happy! He seems like a wonderful, family-oriented man. Good for him! I hope his brothers are proud.

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Nick B. | 33 | Electrical Engineer | 6’1

SANTAAAA!!! You know, Santa isn’t all that bad looking. He looks like he’s got that Southern charm working for him. I don’t even know where the hell he’s from but he just looks it. He seems sweet. I like him. Can he be the next Bachelor?

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Saint Nick!

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Derek | 29 | Commercial Banker | 6’3

Derek looks like a nice guy. I really do not think he will win, not even hometown or fantasy suite, but he’s got more going for him than half of the other losers… So, I believe he will stick around for a few more weeks, maybe. He reminds me of that funny actor, John Krasinski!! So many doppelgangers this season, I CAN’T TAKE IT!

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THE GUYS WHO GET LEFT BEHIND

A list of guys who make it far, but not far enough…

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Alex | 25 | US Marine | 5’7

Okay, let me just say, that I’m not the biggest fan of Alex. For one, his height is TRAGIC. Secondly, he’s kind of douch-y. Thirdly, he is TOO YOUNG. But all in all, he’s better than some of the rest, therefore, I have placed him in this list. Not because I think he’ll win, but because I know he still has some time with us until all the irrelevant’s get eliminated.

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Grant | 27 | Firefighter | 6’2

I’m sure he will take off his shirt whenever he can. Because firefighters love to do that. We’ve learned that with past show experiences. Hi and Bye.

THE ONE WHO TRIED TOO HARD

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Wells | 31 | Radio DJ | 6’0

He’s wearing pins on his jacket. Need I say more? #ByeFelicia

“EL VAMPIRO DE SANTA MONICA”

Yes, that were my mother’s exact words when she saw Ali. Which literally translates to “The Santa Monica Vampire” lmao. She kills me.

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Ali | 27 | Bartender | 5’8

He plays the piano beautifully but that’s really all he’s got going for him. He’s short and hairy and not at all JoJo’s type. You don’t go from Ben to this. Not now, not ever. Not JoJo.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS…

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I think the photos speak for themselves. Now I miss Ben and based on these contestants, JoJo’s mother might be downing multiple bottles of champagne on Mondays.

 

My signature Playbill shot.

We had the time of our lives!

I honestly don’t even know where to begin with this one. So many emotions and so much excitement running through me— I can barely contain myself. WHAT A PERFORMANCE! We (my good friend Yaday & I) arrived at Broward Center for the Performing Arts around 7:45PM, which gave us enough time to grab a beer, pretzel and one coffee before taking our seats— which were (by the way) absolutely amazing!  By the time the first line was spoken, we were already laughing like giddy school girls, taking us back to that first time, decades ago, when we first watched the movie. It was magical.

By the end of ACT I, the young woman and her mother (sitting in front of us) were crying out of pure emotion, which nearly put tears in our eyes as well. The excitement was truly overwhelming‚ so much so that we just couldn’t wait until Intermission was over!

The cast was absolutely sensational and so very talented! They really picked winners for this one— everyone reminded me of the original cast from the movie. It was as if I was watching the movie come to life on stage. We laughed, we cried, we sang at the top of our lungs and we laughed some more. The performance was passionate, sexy, entertaining and absolutely unforgettable.

This is the kind of show I would gladly watch over and over again! So much fun! Be sure to catch this extraordinary musical, visiting us here in our beautiful city until Sunday, April 24th. Click here for ticket purchase & showtimes. 

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Doug Carpenter gave one hell of a great performance as the role of “Billy”! My God, that man can sing. The heavens opened up when his angelical voice came out to shine. 

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Jenny Winton reminding me of Lady Gaga at every moment— she played “Penny”!

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Christopher Tierney as “Johnny” giving me all the feels along with Rachel Boone, who played the role of “Baby” like she was born to do so.

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Johnny and Baby slaying the dance floor.

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“NO ONE PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!”

 

All stage photos are credited to: Matthew Murphy

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Surfs Up!

Being a Florida girl for the larger part of my life, it’s natural for me to just have a long distance relationship with body suits and surfing. However, that does not stop me from being completely fascinated with all the different styles the major brands come out with each year—  and this Spring season is surely no exception.

As I prepare for my honeymoon in French Polynesia and for yet another (mental) trip to Hawaii, I started looking into them because I do want to take surf lessons and look totally cute in the pictures, of course. Rip Curl has won my heart with these gorgeous one piece wet suits! You can find these on Amazon, Nordstrom, Zappos, Swim Outlet and many other websites! If you look hard enough, you might even find them on sale!

 

Oh, and then there’s this colorful little number from ROXY. If I lived in California or Hawaii, I’d have a separate section in my closet just for these. How could anyone possibly choose “one”? They’re so expensive but so absolutely gorgeous! I can’t take it.

Quick Tip: If you search the hashtag #BombshellSeries on Instagram, you’ll see all the photos from the Roxy social media campaign for these designs. You’ll definitely get a ‘real’ feel for what they look like in action. #yourewelcome😉

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Photo Credit: (Feature Image: Roxy).

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Books & Coffee

It’s no secret that taking a stroll through the aisles of Barnes & Noble beats any walk on the park (or beach), at least for me. Of course, when I head to B&N, I always put on something cozy and comfortable because not only is it typically borderline freezing at the bookstore, but I also spend a lot of time there and I tend to crouch down, sit down and bend over in all directions to reach for books or just stand still reading a summary about the story. A comfortable outfit is always a must!  Continue reading